What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 29.06.2025 01:41
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
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In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
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Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
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TEXT:
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
How do I make an instrumental version of a Hindi song?
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Would you raise your children like your parents raised you?
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
How come Jesus died on Friday and rose on Sunday? That's not 3 days and three nights.
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Make Nazis afraid again!
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.